Some people are more than happy to trust everything to memory, some like to familiarise themselves with the speech and then reduce the speech down to a few brief notes or comment cards. That is okay but it tends to interrupt the flow of the speech.

I would suggest memorising it, but if you decide to read it straight from the paper it is printed on, that is fine. No one will mind as most people realise how nerve wracking it is to stand up and make a speech and also how easy it is to forget it when nervous.

Practise

Whatever option you decide make sure you rehearse it, then rehearse it and rehearse it. Either way do not just leave it to reading it from the sheet without at least practising it. With a good amount of rehearsing the speech you can make it flow even when reading it.

So practise the speech, read it out aloud to yourself, be critical. Even better read it out to someone else and let them be critical too.

Slow Down, Do Not Read It Too Quick

The one thing that ruins a very good speech is when the speaker reads it too fast. Nerves can make you want to get it over with, but relax, slow down and you will be surprised just how much you actually enjoyed it.

When being funny make sure you leave a pause, either to deliver the punch line or to wait for the applause to die down, allowing you to carry on.

If you go too quick your audience will be struggling to catch what you just said and will soon get fed up with you talking. Give them time to take in your points and your punch lines, give them time to laugh and applaud.

If you do not give them time to listen or react and you do not get the reaction to your funny comments that you were anticipating, you then start to panic and tend to get quicker making things even worse. I have known the most confident and experienced speakers suffer and have the urge to read or talk quicker. Slow down and take your time but speak clearly and loudly. You can even ask people at the back of the room if they can hear you, before you start your speech. You will probably get one witty guest, there normally is one, who shouts back "No", turn it to your advantage and say "good", a bit of laughter tends to help with any nerves.

Laughter

As I have just stated, wait for a laugh....wait. If you do not get one, then again turn it to your advantage and say something like "that went down well didn`t it" or "feel free to join in and laugh". I have even known some to have large cue cards written that can be held up saying `LAUGH`, `APPLAUD`, `GROAN` and at the end `STANDING OVATION`. They generally tend to work.

Another ploy is to tell your audience that they were supposed to laugh and that you refuse to carry on until they join in.

One main point, is do not carry on until the laughter has subsided and ENJOY the laughter it will help with your confidence.

I tend to watch comedians on the TV or live, study them, watch how they work the audience. The one important factor about comedy is timing. Every comedian has good timing.

Bob Monkhouse was the perfect master at timing, study comedians and how they deliver punch lines.

Interruptions or Hecklers

Interruptions can work to your advantage, they can break the ice, make the speech more informal and `off the cuff`. Enjoy any interruptions, especially witty ones.

They can also allow you time to think and if it is the member of the audience who got the laugh, he will not be the one remembered for it, you will! People will remember it as being your speech that was funny.

Sincerity

By all means be sincere and say things in your speech that you mean. In a wedding speech remember to thank all those that you wanted to thank. As a groom it is your job to thank the Parents, Bridesmaids, Page Boys, Best Man, caterers, planners and most of all your new wife.

But remember as a groom the speech is usually from you and your wife, so thank everyone from the both of you.

By all means be funny, but mix the speech with some serious comments as well. It is the Best Mans job to be funny.

Body Language

Be confident, stand up straight, speak loudly and clearly. I have been to many a wedding where the Groom, Best Man is that nervous that he was constantly looking down, not interacting with his audience and speaking that quietly that only the top table could hear him.

You will instantly lose the audience, they will get fed up and there is nothing worse for a speaker than his audience talking amongst themselves during his speech. Be loud, be confident and capture your audience. Capture them right from the start.

Even if you are reading the speech, look up at your audience. Keeping eye contact with them tells them that you are talking to THEM. An added bonus is that it will help you with your pauses and slow you down, preventing you from rushing the speech.

Stay Sober

Try to minimise your alcohol intake before making your speech. The natural reaction is to drink to calm the nerves, yes have one for `Dutch Courage`, but do not over do it. You might think it helps but it does not.

Your audience will not appreciate a slurred speech!

So The Key Things To Remember Are:

•     Memorise or read the speech
•     Practise, practise and practise
•     Slow down and do not rush your speech
•     Enjoy and wait for the laughter
•     Make the most of interruptions
•     It is your speech that everyone will remember
•     Be sincere as well as funny
•     Be confident, speak clearly and loudly
•     Do not overdo the drink before your speech
•     Remember the audience will be on your side
•     Check your flies!
•     Look before you sit down, make sure the chair is where you want it to be!

   

Relax, be calm and most of all enjoy your speech. You will be amazed how much of a `buzz` you will get from hearing people laugh and applaud at what you have just said.

Coping With Your Nerves

You are bound to be nervous. I was confident at my wedding of speaking and was actually looking forward to making the speech, but I was still nervous and nerves can be good. The adrenaline can get you through it.

One of the plus points is that generally your audience are with you and on your side.

The reason you are making the speech is because you are connected in some way to your audience, friends and family. Which normally means they will listen to what you have to say, be generous with their laughter and applause. Poor jokes are normally well received with a groan or two, followed by laughter. So do not worry about failing, it will not happen.

Think about why you want to stand up and make the speech in the first place....Because you want to, you care about the people you are there with. You are doing it to make everyone there happy, it is part of the celebrations and it is not just you, Groom, Best Man, Father Of The Bride and occasionally the Bride, if you have a Mother-in-Law like mine she will probably want to say her piece as well!

It makes the speech more interesting to make it personal, names, funny stories, nicknames etc. That in turn makes it easier to be funny and interesting.

Planning

Normally you will know some time ahead of the wedding that you will be making a speech. So plan ahead.

Whatever time you have to plan make sure you give your speech your undivided attention and do not keep putting it off, so that the night before you are panicking about your speech. This most certainly will not help your nerves.

Write the speech, then put it down for a few days, go back to it and make a few changes, put it down again then a few days later go back to it again. Do not just write it in one session and then put it away until the actual day.

Write a few ideas down first on seperate pieces of paper, arrange them into some sort of order, this in turn can help you think of other ideas for your speech.

Play about with the pieces of paper, I generally try to think of say at least 6-10 amusing stories and then choose 3 that I think will work. If they tie in together even better.

Try not to repeat yourself though, look at your speech and edit out any repetitive material.

The best speeches are normally short ones, too long and the audience lose interest. As a rule I would say aim at around 5 minutes long, a little less is fine but try not to go on for longer than the 5 minutes.

And finally remember that the funniest stories are normally the true ones! Even if it is a joke that you wish to use, try to change the names to yours and make it sound as though it was a true story, if it is funny no one will mind that it was not actually true.

Practise

We have already mentioned how important it is to practise making your speech, but I cannot stress enough how important it is, especially for coping with your nerves. If you are familiar with your speech it always helps. If you are reading it and lose your place and you have not rehearsed it enough, then you will struggle to regain where you were in the speech. Keep practising and you have a better chance of regaining your composure and continuing the speech where you left off.

Good luck and enjoy it!

And if this advice was any help to you please let me know how you got on.

Martin